Ever get a compliment that made you insecure or made you feel worse?
Example: (person is shocked) “Wow. You lost so much weight. You look better than ever!”
Rule #1: Be very careful about commenting on anybody’s physical appearance and comparing them to their past selves. People need to feel good about their old and new selves.
Now, ever get a compliment that made you feel like a superstar?
Example: You are a really good person. You are special. I love you.
Mega-Yawn. But don’t get me wrong. Those are kind words that are meaningful. I just worry that over time those type of compliments end up being overused and feeling generic. My goal is to raise the bar.
So, let’s try that again with the same type of message.
Example: I admire the way you care for your mother. The way you talk to her and touch her is filled with so much kindness. The world needs more of you. More of you could change the whole world. It has changed my world.
What makes that better?
#1 Be specific: If you think someone is good. Why are they good? It means more if you explain why. People will believe it and feel it more. Being more specific, makes it more unique to that individual.
#2 Thoughtfulness: Think about the compliment you want to give. Understand it more. Go deeper. Find the right words. Take a few more minutes to express yourself more accurately. You and the other person will enjoy it more.
#3 Creativity: This is my favorite part. I love compliments that integrate a tad of humor and even hyperbole (as long as it is sincere).Have fun with the compliment. Be original and even a bit outrageous. At Flatter Me, some of the best response have included this element. See article, Top 10 Funniest Compliments for examples.
Be confident when delivering it. Eye contact is key. Mean it and be proud to say it. Now get out there and flatter someone with the perfect compliment!